How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows
Writing your own wedding vows sounds like a daunting task–not only do you have to distill everything you love about your partner into a few minute speech, but then you’re expected to read those tender words aloud in front of your friends and family?! Cue the writer’s block and cold sweats!
Fortunately, we’re here to help you through the process.
The first order of business is for you and your partner to decide upon a vow length. Short and sweet is ideal, so we suggest around 500-800 words each, which should take about 3-5 minutes to read.
Next, you may want to sync up on a structure. Most couples agree on a loose structure for the first 2/3 of the vows, and then a list of 3-8 promises, but this is not a hard and fast rule. For example, if one half of the couple is a poet, their vows could look totally different from their partner’s–we celebrate this!
Now, it’s time to figure out what goes into the vows. We recommend leaving yourself ample time to ruminate, write, and edit. A day-of, straight-from-the-heart writing sesh might seem romantic, but it’ll only add unnecessary stress to an already emotional day. Here are some questions to consider separately that will give you a place to start:
What stood out to you about the other person when you first met? This could include a funny anecdote about the first or an early date.
When did you know you wanted to be together forever, or what qualities cemented that decision?
How do you strengthen each other, or how does your partner make you a better person?
What do you love about each other’s families or communities?
What are some hopes you have for your future together, or what are you excited about building and doing together?
Details and personal anecdotes are encouraged and what will make your vows unique!
Once you’ve written your vows and spent some time tweaking and practicing them aloud, you and your partner may decide to share them with your officiant (without showing each other, of course). A second set of eyes can provide a boost of confidence and will also ensure that your officiant doesn’t say anything that will be too repetitive with what you’ve crafted.
If you’ve read this blog post and you’re still looking for a little extra guidance, we are more than happy to help! Feel free to email us at hi@seconddraftstudio.com. We can’t wait to help you tell your love story.